


if you lose yourself, i will find you

by Cumberbatch Critter (ivelostmyspectacles)



Series: Tumblr Drabbles [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Look Bucky's pretty unsure of himself in CACW, and Steve's trying to help protect him, i don't know what else to tag it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-23 17:16:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6123906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivelostmyspectacles/pseuds/Cumberbatch%20Critter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <b>if you lose yourself, i will find you</b>
</p><p>Bucky looked up at him, and the only word Steve could dredge up to describe the way he was looking at him was <i>shattered</i>. Hurting, and desperately lost. </p><p>"I can't go back to that."</p>
            </blockquote>





	if you lose yourself, i will find you

**Author's Note:**

> So, the prompt was indeed **if you lose yourself, i will find you** , found [here](http://rpmemed.tumblr.com/post/140019110417). (I'm not even bothering to try titling Tumblr prompts anymore, I can't do it, I spend more time trying to figure a title than writing the ficlet ToT) Steve and Bucky in CACW immediately came to mind.
> 
> I do not own _Captain America_. Thanks for reading!

"Can't do it."

"Listen, Buck-"

"No, you don't understand!" Steve recoiled as Bucky spun on him, the fire in his eyes underlaid by the fragility only Steve seemed to see. "You don't know what will happen if I do," Bucky hissed. "You don't _know_ what I've _done_."

Steve had seen one mission's worth of what Bucky could do, the destruction torn into the streets during the firefight and the injuries Steve had ended up in the hospital with following toppling into the water. He didn't know what Buck had done besides that. But he wasn't snow white, either; did he think any of them were infallible in anything that they had done throughout their lives?

"I don't do that anymore," Bucky said softly.

Steve heaved a breath. They could talk about it later. "Well, the people who think you did are coming right now, and they're not planning on taking you alive."

Bucky looked up at him, and the only word Steve could dredge up to describe the way he was looking at him was _shattered_. Hurting, and desperately lost.

"I can't go back to that."

Steve closed his eyes. Then stepped forward, holding his hand out to Buck. "Then you run. And I'll handle the rest."

It seemed to procure more of a reaction than anything else. "... I can't let you fight for me."

"There's no ‘letting’ me, Buck." He grabbed Bucky's hand, pulling him up. "I'm going to do it either way now. 'til the end of the line, right?"

The corner of Bucky's lips twitched into a frown. "Steve-"

A bang outside startled them all. Bucky jolting, jerking his hand from Steve, Sam swore and left to check the door, and Steve turned back to his friend with the urgency of the situation settling in. "You need to go, Buck. _Now_. I'll find you later. Okay?"

Bucky looked poised to say something, but his lips pressed into a thin line a moment later, and he took a step back. And then another, and another. And turned, going for the line of windows along the back wall.

Steve turned for the door. And then, on a whim he couldn't explain, not now, when they didn't have time, he spun back around. "Buck?"

Bucky looked back immediately, only muted curiosity in his eyes.

"I know you're scared," Steve said. "Confused. And you're worried about what'll happen if you take up arms again, if you go back into that... Winter Soldier part of you Zola created. I've been there, we've been there. But you're not alone anymore, Buck. If you lose yourself, I will find you."

Sam was back just then, door slamming against the wall as he flung it open. "No more time, Cap. We gotta fight or we gotta flee. I'm not particular to the latter."

"Let's just see what happens," Steve replied calmly. And then, over his shoulder, "Buck, go".

Bucky went.

 

And Bucky showed up at the door of the hotel he and Sam were staying at, in the middle of the night, dressed in all black with weapons on his person. Steve might have been staring, just a little bit.

Bucky shrugged slightly. "Until the end of the line."

"Buck..."

"And this... is my choice. Not Zola's. Not because of HYDRA." Bucky shoved his hands in his pockets. "So... there."

Steve laughed. "So there... yeah." He clapped his hand on Bucky's shoulder, holding onto him tightly beneath his fingers. "Come on, get in here, before we blow our cover. We've got a plan to hatch."

He hauled Bucky into their hotel room, and closed the door softly behind them.

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you ever have a prompt, drop me an ask on [my Tumblr](http://cumberbatchcritter.tumblr.com)!


End file.
